My life’s waiting for it to be reclaimed

No, I don’t mean “Carpe Diem”

but “Goddamnit, we’re gonna start rotting, bee!”.

– (first person plural because I talk to myself) –

Numerous reasons and excuses why I’m like this.

Everything is a challenge – getting up, wanting to do anything

– (except watching movies and British comedy, which I’m mostly up for) -,

even basic chores of upkeep.

Everything requires upkeep.

The fundamental truth of household chores is this: if you don’t catch up, germs and bugs will.

And in living, if you don’t practice mindfulness and work on your will,

hopelessness will.

But my life is not all complaints, definitely not.

I’m blessed with a few people – an exceptional mother

who is no more but always is …

, cousins who mothered me,

few friends who, in numerous ways, happy and sad,

taught me life.

And a partner who is the light of my life,

a wondrous person full of love and whether he agrees or not, unmatched liveliness.

And some people, some even nameless or faceless,

on the road and online,

whose kindness even in the fleeting moments our paths crossed

is one of the most precious lessons of my life; it’s these small, good things I live for.

I started writing this to detail what needs fixing in my life

– house, home, head, habits,

but I feel incredibly thankful for all that keeps me going.

I’ve always been told by authority that I need to gather myself

but for the first time in my life, I know why I need to.

And I’m driven by the force within

To give purpose and meaning to all that has breathed life into me.

With a little help from the universe and all the love that is needed,

I shall let life blossom, within and out.

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